Roast my Paper Here

Comments

  1. Flow of Paper:

    I thought that your paper was very well developed and flowed nicely. The results section was a bit overwhelming with all of your statistics, but good good overall. Maybe lessen or sum up some of the statistics if possible because you have a graph that shows it anyways. Some of your paragraphs ended with a quote, so I would just go back and try to just sum it up for your last sentence.

    Format / Language:

    Your tone of this paper was great, and you were very formal with the way you approached this paper. I thought that the length was a perfect amount, but I did notice that you didn't have an "appendix" section (I personally didn't either). Your in-text citations looked good and you used a variety of different references. You followed APA format with your use of headings, sub-headings, and headers.

    Organization:

    Your sections were very specific and followed the guidelines well. You were on topic the whole time and didn't get off task. You did a great job overall on this paper.

    Survey Itself:

    I think you had great questions to ask. It was a very interesting topic that I can relate to as well as agree with. Very nice job!

    Improvements:

    1. You had very few spelling/grammar errors.
    2. You sometimes ended with a quote at the end of a paragraph (as said above).
    3. Try to sum up some of the statistics because you have a graph that includes all of that information.

    OVERALL GREAT PAPER!!

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  2. The language used in this paper was very concise and gave an accurate depiction of what the study consisted of and the results that came from it. The only errors that were common to me was that you had off spacing at several points also work on run-on sentences those became in issues a few times throughout the paper. Other than that the paper was well written with many details and you went overboard on backing up your findings with prior studies created similar to your study. However, you forgot to add an appendix and adding that will help know that your information is legitimate. When I looked at your reference page and the whole paper it looked like you used APA correctly, although I would look through it one or two more times.
    IMRAD you followed the procedure on using the imrad format well you included all of the sections throughout the paper and you can see clear statements made in the abstract, introduction, methods, results, and discussion. I liked the most how clear and easy to read the graphs in the results section were and then the analysis of the data in the discussion.
    I found the that the survey was done well, however not having an appendix hurts your paper. the point of the appendix is to give you credibility and not having that makes people question the integrity of the study. on the other side you explained how you performed the experiment very clearly.
    some things to improve on would be to make sure you limit your run-on sentences. Once you fix those it will be easier to follow your paper. Another would be ADD THE APPENDIX! this is an important paper and will only help your paper. Lastly I would try and just get to the point more not often, but occasionally I felt like you were saying the same thing over and over again. I only thought this in your introduction so I would take a small look at that.
    Overall I thought it was very well written and you did an excellent job conducting and creating this paper.

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